negatives

these negatives need to be flushed out of my body so i can be a good person. this is really for a bunch of people...

i'm not at all impressed by you
you're a complete asshole to me and all i've ever been is nice. why is it that i have to do all the right things, and never make mistakes? i wish i didnt have free will, i wish i was ignorant. a pretty little fool, that's what i want to be. then it would be a guarentee that i would be happy and get everything i want.
what you do- it isnt worth anything. it's so simple, a monkey could do it. you think you're all high and mighty, better than me. you arent
and whats worse is that i cant get any recognition from people that i'm adequate. the truth is, i am adequate, moreso. but i need someone to tell me, otherwise i don't think it's true.
i need goddamn outlet.

things got really dangerous just now, and i dont have anyone to protect me from myself. technology is not such a good thing, because while you can contact more people faster, you're still alone. in an emergency, you're alone, and no one will tell the people you know to help.

people dont understand the pressure that's on me. i pretend like i dont care, but if i didnt, i wouldnt freak the fuck out all the time. i really just want someone to talk to and listen, but you know what? everyone is so far away. in all honesty, i dont know what to do. i need advice. i need help, and i shouldnt have to go further than one person to get it. when that person cant give it, what am i supposed to do? the more people you tell, the more you're admitting that there is a problem, and the problem gets bigger.


i shouldnt have to beg for anyones help. but when i do, i better goddamn get it, or what is the person worth at all?

what words to i have to emphasize to get some attention, some live-saving advice. soon, it will be live saving. the person i've got now for this would sooner let me die than concede to me that they were wrong.

who deserves that

no one.