Missing

I feel like it's weird that when i'm missing a person, i never think of the analogy "missing a piece in the puzzle" as a matter of fact, does anyone? people feel empty without their significant others, right? i don't...i feel like this person isn't with me and that i'd like to be with them. god. what a ramble.

i laugh at other people's misfortune. kind of. it's really funny when people fall down the stairs. for some reason, i brought this up in the presence of my cousin, and she agreed. otherwise, we have nothing in common. one time my mother fell up the steps and i was watching out the front window. she was upset because she spilled our smoothies. some people would say i'm sadistic. others know me better.

i like going fast. in cars playing the ramones at ungodly hours of the night, on a jetski hopping waves. i never knew this about myself. god. it's amazing. i thought it was fun when other people were in control, but when i'm put in charge of speed, my love is stronger.

looking back on the previous few nights, i realize that i'm an idiot and have made some huge mistakes. i shouldn't have done some things that put me and others in danger. put my reputation at risk. or lost trust with my parents.