"Is her name Karma?" "No, it's Bekka"

Ignorance is no excuse for stupidity. Especially if you blame ignorance over and over. And the excuses are plentiful

30 of the most random things

Just 30 random things, really. i didnt want to post it on facebook because i dont think i know 30 people enough so that they would enjoy being tagged.

1. i remember next to no russian that i learned at governor's school, and it upsets me

2. when i was little, the trunk of my mom's car was closed on my left hand. i have a sneaking suspicion that i was left-handed before this event, but i will never know.

3. i don't get motion sickness, i learned to read in the car

4. i only have two cousins my age, one is the ghetto version of me, and one used to live in hong kong and now lives in vancouver. the other cousins are much much older

5. i love snails...TO EAT

6. i'm trying to think of things that my wonderful boyfriend james did not know before reading this

7. i cannot do a handstand :( or a headstand :(

8. i was a girlscout

9. i am not double jointed, or especially stretchy in any area of my body, which seems weird to me. everyone has those special talents but me it seems... although i can crack my wrists over and over

10. up until age 13, i was one of the best yo-yoers in the world. then i stopped caring, fairly abruptly.

11. my imaginary friend's name was scott.

12. my dream job would be... a bettie page-style model

13. i am addicted to junky reality tv shows

14. number ten was a complete and utter lie. i'm usually not someone who lies at all, but i wanted to throw in a whopper for these since i dont sound very interesting otherwise.

15. i have a really, really bad memory. i cant tell you many things about last year, even less about the year before. this sounds obvious, but i fear for my memory.

16. i'm afraid that when you discover the meaning of life, you die.

17. i believe in karma. but it's more in the sense that if you're a bad person to one guy, you'll be bad to another guy, and he'll get you back for it.

18. i don't have a favorite color

19. i dont mind eating liverwurst. i eat it during school and pray that no one asks me what it is though.

20. i have never had a lucid dream

21. i have never done drugs (and never will)

22. i feel the fabric of my shirts to figure out which ones they are, so i dont have to look at them. i'm very good at it. even if i dont see the shirt, i can tell if it isnt in the stack

23. i have never had a crush on a teacher, it's weird, i respect them.

24. i am a good kisser. but i save my kisses for one person and one person alone

25. i want children, i really do. i want to know what they'll look like the most. i feel like if i have a beautiful child, i'll feel better about the way i look

26. i believe in ghosts

27. i start things but rarely finish them (with the exception of knitting projects for some reason)

28. i like brunettes (male and female)

29. i dont trust people easily when i meet them, especially if they are women. women are stupid.

30. i want to travel the world and spread my influence, rather than stay in one spot and have people come to me. sort of.

college

i know no one reads this, but

god, this is a cry for help seriously. if you're even considering applying for college, there's this website called zinch. it's a lot like facebook, you can talk with your friends and have a profile like facebook, and colleges can see it. i'm writing this because, really, if you sign up through this link thing, i could win some money for my own college education, which would be really nice, especially if i decide to get out of state and go to south carolina. so by god, if you read this, please please click the link and sign up?

the moment

this is the moment when i'm happy. really happy.
i've got ella on,
a new happy phone that makes me feel important,
things to do,
warm coffee i can smell (smells like hazelnut)
plans to see/talk to people
i feel loved and all of it

still raining, still dreaming

RULES:
1. Put your MP3 player or ipod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

If someone says is this okay, you say?
When the night comes down

How would you describe yourself?
untamed girls

What do you like in a boy?
this boy (whoa pattern)

How do you feel today?
start me up

What's your motto?
just another rhumba.

What do your friends think of you?
break me

what do your parents think of you?
Little wing

What do you think about very often?
tonight i'm burning

what do you think of the person you like?
i wanna hold your hand

What is your life story?
i could write a book

What do you want to do when you grow up?
tuck me in

What do you think when you see the person you like?
yesterday

What will they play at your wedding?
i can't do it alone

What will they play at your funeral?
call it love (techno?wtf)

What is your biggest fear?
while my guitar gently weeps

What is your biggest secret?
just squeeze me (but don't tease me)

What do you think of your friends?
cheek to cheek

What will you post this as?
still raining, still dreaming

back in the day

i was happiest between 8th and 9th grade. everything happened to me that year, and i mean everything.
everyone loved me and i was the favorite...
ive never seen anything like it since, even towards other people.
it confuses me and makes me wonder if i was seeming like the good girl i thought i was

strange!love

its odd that once someone whom i truly love takes leave for a few days
the first phone call from someone i havent seen in awhile happens
it's a heartfelt confession, guard down, at 2 in the morning
they slur that i'm special to them, they miss me, can we please see each other tomorrow?

i tell them the truth

the very next day another person i've not seen in awhile somehow returns
and says
"i fucking love you"
though i dont believe it.

where is mine